Thursday, June 6, 2013

Yet more and still stranger Thanfiction

I understand that those terms are used in academic settings, but Tumblr is geared towards mostly teenagers, especially fandom. Maybe you should use clearer language or explain it better what you mean.

I know there are a lot of teenagers on Tumblr, and I know there are a lot of teenagers following me, but I'm not going to start talking down to them.  They get enough of that.  I remember when I was a teenager myself, there were few things as infuriating as hearing an adult conversation that genuinely interested me and where I felt like I could learn and engage…but as soon as they saw me approach, they dropped it to "kiddie stuff."  I have a set of Clive Cussler novels autographed to me for my 10th birthday because they were my favorites, and it made me crazy when adults asked me about them with the assumption that I didn't know what I was reading.   I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, and it's self correcting; if they're not able to follow me, they'll unfollow me. 

I'm a grown adult, and a reasonably intelligent and erudite one. I'm discussing some pretty fucking advanced concepts of storycraft, marketing, psychology, literary theory, sociology, mythology, ecclesiastical tradition, and queer theory, just to chisel a few snowcones of the tip of that iceberg, and I'm going to discuss them like I'm in a room full of other reasonably intelligent and erudite adults.  When the concepts are as complex as I enjoy addressing, lowering my language threshhold would accomplish nothing but a loss of clarity or efficiency in communication, and that would make it harder, not easier to understand.  That's why academic language and precision language exists, and the kids who want to follow it almost always can. 

I know a lot of adults who can't keep up with what I write.  I know a lot of teenagers who can, and any age can use google or ask me if they hit a word or a concept or a metaphor they don't understand…and I never mock them for it.  If clarity is actually the problem, I'm happy to clarify.  But at the end of the day, this is my blog, where I talk about things that interest me and ideas I have, and I have a specific style and persona that derives a lot of its signature feel and entertainment value from its parry and riposte between highbrow and lowbrow, pragmatism and idealism, obvious and obtuse, straight-shooter language and random verbal quirkflourishes that catch you off guard like a misidentified jelly bean. 

Otherwise, as far as young people on my blog, Tumblr is blatantly, broadly NSFW.  If they can't handle creative extrapolation of the Carlin seven and then some, or material related to grownup persons rubbing their bodies together, then Tumblr, much less my blog, is not the place for them.  But frankly, I'd much rather they be getting that kind of information from non-judgmental, experienced adults who put an emphasis on compassion, education, and good consent than whispering around with other poor bastards trying to make sense of what's bobbing to the top of this week's stew of public education and hormones. 

Yes, I do endeavor to be clear.  For the most part, I think I succeed.  But be it herebythus known that I will also probably reference the Jungian Collective Unconscious and extradiegesis, 90's Canadian dramady police procedurals, second-act rising action and denouement, post-schismic ecclesiastical dogmatism, Play-Doh, the Cold War, Britney Spears, heirloom tomatoes, and the motherfucking sacred blowjob preferences of the cocknattering pubic lice of the camels of the Magi. 

Your mileage may vary. 

Supernatural Boscon 2011- Jared's train story

Supernatural Boscon 2011- Jared's train story:

This Morning Moose is very funny, and doesn't want you to see his wife's underpants.

Andy, how do you come up with names such as Odysseus or Heracles shaped history, Martyr arc, etc? Are they from one of the books you read or you invented them yourself?

Most of the terms like that (Hero's Journey, Heroic Martyr, Odysseus Archetype, etc) are just kind of the common academic vocabulary of discussing how stories work.  I think Joseph Campbell may have been the one to coedify it, but at this point, it's just like a slightly more formal version of TV Tropes. 

Hey, I don't know whether you share the same theory on destiel but I believe that it is fate that Dean and Cas will end up together (this being amongst the large amount of proof I've found supporting it obsessionisaperfume(.)tumblr(.)com/post/50707292055). What worries me about this though is that there seems to be a theme in Supernatural of going against fate. I was just wondering what your thoughts are on this?

I definitely agree that Dean and Cas are endgame.  "Fate" may be semantics…I see it as necessary from all three points of the TV storyteler's fire triangle: It makes good business sense, it's good storytelling structure, and it makes sense intradiegetically.  As for my thoughts on this: go to the tag "meta masterpost".  Click on the one that says "Destiel."  MANY thoughts. 

Can I come here and tell you about my boobs cause I'm kind of drunk and they look great but I have no one to show but me. And now you

I'm sure they're lovely.  I'm also sure that as you are, by your own admission, drunk, now is not the time for you to give good consent to show them to me.

This is my 10,000th post

September, 2005, Eric Kripke premiers a little show about two brothers with a cool car who hunt monsters.

Things happen.

April, 2008, I take a bet and write “Dumbledore’s Army: Still Recruiting,” which is meant to be a one-shot. 

Things happen.

September, 2011, I join Tumblr to thank a Daydian who said some very nice things about my ‘verse that came from that one shot. 

Things happen.

November, 2012, I start watching the ‘verse that came from that little show. 

Things happen.

And now, here we are. 


Isn’t life amazing?

Supernatural&Thomas Padalecki. This Morning Moose is a...

Supernatural&Thomas Padalecki.

This Morning Moose is a reminder that Squirrel is scheduled to get one of these today…or sometime very, very soon.

buticancarryyou: spncleanexxbrand: Okay yea this is pretty...



Okay yea this is pretty amazing.

Holy fuck this is like a fucking trailer!!!!!! *____*

This is our setup.  This is why Season 9 is going to rock.  We've never had it this good.  Literally.  Even the great Season 5, we didn't have the brother bond as strong as it is now, which is so much the beating heart of this show. 

Kevin Tran: Timebomb of the Lord

The season 9 chessboard is a thing of awe and beauty.

The Winchester brothers are the things monsters have nightmares about.  Scottish tailor or not, Crowley’s still clever and ruthless enough to have worked his way from Crossroads Demon to King of Hell.  The Vampirate is gathering power in Purgatory.  Castiel doesn’t need his wings to still be a badass warrior with millions of years’ experience.  Naomi has re-arranged the skulls of angels for millenia and it would be foolish to think she’s gone without wing scorches.  Abaddon is out for a regime change and the literal embodiment of destruction.  Bobby is back in Ash’s roadhouse.  God’s scribe is cannily jumped up from the steno pool to the usurped throne of Heaven.  The angels have fallen and we are beginning to hear the rattling of chains from the remaining archangels. 

The most dangerous piece on the board by far is Kevin Tran, Advanced Placement, Prophet of the Lord. 

Because he is the one being underestimated by everyone. 

Granted, that’s easy enough to do.  He’s physically small, very young, comes from a privileged background, has a tendency to express himself a bit on the whiny side, and is, at first glance, what would kindly be called a nerd.  There’s more there, however.  So far, the only one who seems to be taking him truly seriously is Crowley, and given that he’s continually acknowledged as one of the smartest players in the game, that’s worth something, and also a good place to start; with the question of why Crowley bothers to put such effort into Kevin.

A Prophet in the hand, of course, is worth two in the bush, but Kevin was difficult. He not only was uncooperative, he outright lied to and successfully escaped from the same torture and interrogation team who broke the ANGEL Samandriel, the DEMON Meg, and the HUNTER Dean Winchester.  Even after having his friends and family killed and threatened. So Crowley went shopping for a better Prophet, evaluated all those currently living, knows that all he has to do to activate the next one is kill a very squishable teenager…but when he again gains access to said teenager, does not squish, and instead engages one of the most elaborate deceptions we’ve seen from any demon yet trying to gain his cooperation.

The other Prophets aren’t under the direct protection of the Winchesters.  If it was just as simple as any Prophet could read the tablet, wouldn’t it be easier to start with one who is already so much more afraid of you and hasn’t shown that kind of obstinance?  Here’s where the SPN canon upholds what the Bible already tells us: not all Prophets are created equal, not all Prophets work by the same methods, receive the same Word, or reveal it the same way, and Crowley isn’t much in the mood for sitting through 46 books of his hijinks with Castiel and the Winchesters chasing Dick before we even get to this season. 

It’s more than just Kevin being a known commodity.  This boy was trained from toddlerhood to be an intellectual Olympian.  He is capable of focus, discipline, analysis, and feats of scholarship that are truly boggling.  To “receive the Word,” a Prophet is sent into isolated meditation for a LIFETIME.  Kevin mentally strong-armed that shit in UNDER SIX MONTHS, ruthlessly driving himself with not only little to no assistance or support, but after experiencing extreme trauma and being profoundly, inexcusibly abandoned.  In what is essentially a race between Hell, Heaven, and the Winchesters, this makes Kevin an invaluable commodity. 

Kevin does not, understandably, much like being a commodity.  Kevin does not, understandably, much like anything about his current situation.  Indeed, one of the most notable things about his character right now is the growing, simmering, seething pressure cooker of rage that is building there.  His entire life has been one of sacrifice and suffering, a childhood sold to the Ivy League, but it was all done with the promise that it would be worth it.  Now he’s lost not only everything he ever worked for, but he’s being forced to work harder than ever…just for maybe, possibly, if he’s very lucky, the right to not be actively tortured at this moment. 

All the main power players have noticed this anger and pain, and have, in various ways, tried to use it to manipulate him, but Kevin himself has re-claimed his own agency.  He’s found something, and he’s leveled up, and he now has one motherfucking ace in the hole and no particular qualms against using it against whomever fucks with him next, because he is All The Done With Your Shenanigans.  No, we don’t know what it is yet, but we know it’s something powerful enough that Kevin was convinced he could destroy Crowley with it. 

When he confronted Crowley, that wasn’t the attitude of someone who is simply resigned to die or determined not to break.  We’ve seen that.  We’ve seen that FROM KEVIN. TO CROWLEY, even.  But we’ve also seen Kevin - with the demon bomb - when he knows something that gives him the advantage, and Crowley recognized that look too.  That’s why he flipped out, and why Kevin still wasn’t scared, even when he was being pinned to the wall.  He was not hysterical, he was not resigned, he was not broken.  He was in a stronger position than we’ve seen him since we met him, and Crowley knew it too and was sweating bullets and SCARED.

And whatever IT was, Kevin had begun to do IT when Metatron grabbed him. 

We’ve seen plenty of angel-zapping in the last five years.  We’ve seen Cas do it, Zachariah do it, and a few others.  Never do the transportee’s eyes glow like that.  In fact, we’ve only seen THAT happen when an angel is getting ready to unleash some serious motherfucking hardcore smackdown or dying.   

Kevin is a Righteous Innocent who has sacrificed for his calling.  He has been wronged four times; by Angels, Demons, Monsters, and Man.  He has taken the Three Wounds, suffering by the Body (the loss of his flesh with the finger), the Pride (the loss of his position with college), and the Mind (the mental breakdown to the point of visions/hallucinations). He is a virgin who abstained from consumption of flesh until his mind broke.  He is a chosen Prophet of God.  He is a youth who has just attained manhood. 


*deep breath* 

Excuse me. 

What I meant to say is that young Mr. Tran is, from a mythological perspective, in a position of tremendous power that entitles one to remarkable things.  He’s unlocked DEEP primal secrets about the base code and nature of the supernatural from the tablets and has the intelligence to understand, extrapolate from, and apply what he’s found.

The show has positioned him like this, and all the while they have used their protagonist privilege with Dean to downplay it and make us kind of pet Kevin on the head, worry about the little shit, but beyond a frustrated desire for him to hurry the fuck up already and translate, not take him particularly seriously.  They had Metatron yank him right when it would be plausible that it was the cause of the flare we saw…but only if we don’t actually think about it or compare it to other angel-snatchings.  They’re setting us up for a twist, and the difference between a GOOD twist and a MOFFAT twist, is that a GOOD twist you can see coming, at least in hindsight.  It’s not “And then, all of a sudden, ZEBRA! Because wow, I’m so zany and unpredictable and magic reasons!” You can look back and want to facepalm because yes, of course, of course Ruby was fucking double-crossing them, and of course Cas was working with Crowley. And of COURSE Kevin has taken matters into his own hands in a big, big, big way.  Why the fuck shouldn’t he?  Who else can he trust? 

Which is why I think one of the biggest shockers of Season 9 is going to have to do with sweet little Kevin Tran.  Because I think he found a clause that allowed him to call in the terms of his contract.  Prophets are promised the protection of an archangel if the need is dire enough.  A divine promise is something that cannot be broken.  No archangels are available; they’re all either dead or caged.  According to a great deal of panecclesiastical lore, a righteous martyr is immediately elevated to become an angel, much as a sinner can be corrupted to a demon.  But a righteous, martyred PROPHET with so much else in his corner?  Kevin provoked Crowley to strangle him, and as he began to die, he began to light up in a very distinctive way.  I think Kevin’s figured out a way to DIY into becoming an archangel if he can get himself righteously martyred…but not only do none of TFW realize that, they’re about to hand him the angel tablet.    

And I have a strong feeling he definitely won’t be there to perch on anyone’s shoulder. 

Profound Radio - All Summer Long - Confirmed Lineup


A list of our confirmed guests so far for the summer!

If you see an empty week we're awaiting confirmation from the penciled in guests. We're fully booked until the 7th of September!

Where there are two people for one week, they will appear one after the other.

Blueboxparchment - 8th June

Lolsoffandom & destielintheimpala - 15th June

Daughter-of-a-badass - 22nd June

Andythanfiction - 13th July

LadySkyelar - 20th July

Steviecass - 27th July

Spn-Rants - 3rd August

DefilerWyrm - 10th August

Izzraphale - 24th August

Casamancy - 31st August

Meanwhile, How About Not Misha For Once?

It makes me sad and a little bit ashamed of this fandom that for all I see thousands of us making a tremendous big deal of what massive feminists we are and how much we love and care about history, slut-shaming, and not reducing powerful women to the status of “so-and-so’s wife”, Dr. Vantoch has a Tumblr for her book, and the dozen or so really fascinating, informative, and poignent articles and vintage ads have less notes than I get on a random snippet of dialogue fic about Kevin putting hot sauce in Cas’ food,while the ONE photo that HAPPENS to have Misha posing with a random waitress at the launch party?  Over 1,000.

Book Finds the Feminist in Yesterday€™'s Stewardess

Book Finds the Feminist in Yesterday€™'s Stewardess:

Where are they now?




Anne Sweeney flew for Pan Am from 1964 - 1975 and later worked in their Corporate Communications Department.



Today, Anne is the president of Anne Sweeney Public Relations. She recently won a prestigious Gold Adrian Award for Excellence in Public Relations for her campaign for World Wings International, The Real Women of Pan Am.

Anne wrote an amazing piece about the book and talked about her years as a stewardess at Pan Am.

This has now surpassed the ridiculous but surprisingly popular...

This has now surpassed the ridiculous but surprisingly popular post I made about the Macarena and a few others.  That means that the two most popular things I've ever written (this and a semi-silly post about ideas for being kind to your significant other based on their Hogwarts sorting) are both about being compassionate; one to yourself, one to others.  My most popular meta (Ain't My Bitch, last I checked) is also about being compassionate; in this case via not devaluing feminine things. 

If no one ever reblogs anything else I ever write, my blog is a success.  :)

splendidcolor: jordyngryphon: theguilteaparty: bookerdewitt: ...

omfg I saw these at a CVS and I died



when I started reading them OMG RAINBOWS SHOT OUT OF ME


omg thank you so much Mr. Hiddleston


I bought this one. BUT DAMN I LOVE RED DYE #40

das right. I have enough pain in mah life









best marketing



would recommend

WHEREDOTHEYSELLTHOSE?! I need them so bad. This is absolutely perfect.

They sell them at Target

This is a fantastic idea.

Raging pharmacology boner.

Bonus points for being single chemical pills.

you should check out their website!

If you think that packaging is brill, wait until you see the site.

This company is a marketer's wet dream.

That website is fantastic. Seriously, click on it and check out the whole site. Best waste of time EVER.

It has been entirely too long since I went running.  *splat* The good news is, that was so...

It has been entirely too long since I went running.  *splat* The good news is, that was so infuriating that it’s the kick in the ass I needed to get back on the wagon.  Now to go pick up Mom from Bible study, do dinner, and then I’m going to try to knock out another meta, maybe two tonight.  Castiel’s identity and the nature of angels and/or Kevin Tran: Timebomb

idjitsnassbutts: Pilot Misha


Pilot Misha

“Good morning, Kevin.  I would like to apologize for the way I treated you last time...

“Good morning, Kevin.  I would like to apologize for the way I treated you last time I—” 

“Don’t worry about it.  You were stressed.  Believe me, I get that it does funny things to people.”

“No hard feelings, then?”

“Of course not.  Anyway, I guess coming down from angel to human is even worse than Princeton hopeful to refugee homeless freak.”

“I suppose it — Dean?”

“You ok, Cas? Something’s wrong.”

“My mouth is…it’s very uncomfortable.  It’s a chemical burn of some —”

“Lemme take a look at tha…KEVIN!”

“Lesson one about being human: Never be a jerk to someone who has access to your food and was raised with Sriracha on everything!” 

“Dean! Dean come back, he’s just a kid and he’s faster than you!”

“And I’m twice his goddamned size, the little punk!”

“I don’t think this is going to end well.”

“No, Cas, I don’t think so either.”

“I’m concerned for Dean.” 

“So am I.”

“Do you think we should intervene?” 

“No.  Here.  Just drink this - it’s got a lot of milk in it - and we’ll wait for the screams.  Kevin’s too smart to really hurt him, but I think you’re not the only one who needs to learn their lesson today.” 

Castiel: I know we didn’t get much of a chance to talk last night; we were both pretty out of...


I know we didn’t get much of a chance to talk last night; we were both pretty out of it, but I was a little too worked up to sleep, so I spent a while online, and I wanted to leave you this figuring that I’ll probably have passed out right around the time you finally wake up. 

Yes, I’ve found out as much as I can about what’s happened to the other angels, but I’m not going to force that information on you until or unless you ask for it.  As hard as it might be for you to believe, they’re not actually your responsibility, and you don’t have to go to them if you don’t think it would be safe for you, or even if you just don’t want to. 

Don’t tell me I don’t understand, either.  I know that I don’t have the “more profound bond” with you that you have with Dean, and I’m okay with that.  Yes, of course I’ve been jealous.  I’d have to think you were a blind idiot to try to deny that.  For all that Dean and I love each other and as close as we are, you and he click at a level that he and I never have, and I think it’s that somewhere deep down, you’re both meant to be soldiers, and I’m just not.  But even if I’m not like you that way, I do understand better than anyone else what you’re going through, because in case you’ve forgotten, Cas, I’ve been inside an archangel’s mind, and more than that, an archangel who was cut off from Heaven and is trying to drive a vessel. 

I know what you’ve come to expect from a body and what you haven’t, and some of that stuff could be seriously embarrassing, and you don’t deserve that.  So if you push the round button on the tablet I left with this letter, you’ll find I’ve cued up a playlist of videos.  Just touch the triangular symbol and it’ll take 46:13 to watch them all.  They’re meant for occupational therapists working with brain injury victims, so they assume both that you’re a competant, intelligent adult and that you’re starting from scratch.  I’ve covered everything from recognizing waste elimination signals and dealing with that to picking out socially and weather appropriate clothes, but if I’ve missed something, go ahead and let me know and we’ll figure it out. 

I realized something else last night, too, and I owe you a huge debt of gratitude, Cas.  You pulled me out of hell, imperfectly or not, and you saved my life when you took the madness from me.  I know, yes, you broke the wall to begin with, but when it comes to doing stupid things to people you love out of desperation, I’m in way too big a glass house to even think of picking up any stones.  I do believe you love us, Cas, and I know how hard it must be for you, because I remember things from Lucifer that have nothing to do with the Cage. 

I remember what things were like before the first great Fall, before Hell was created, what Lucifer did to Heaven.  I remember YOU, Castiel, through his eyes; how much you were loved back when there was peace in the family, and what a remarkable warrior you were when they turned against each other.  You should feel proud to know that when he saw you again in Carthage, he was more worried than he let on.  You had a reputation for performing feats beyond your order even then.  And yes, as much as I’m sorry to admit it, I even know something of what’s happened to the angels since, because he gloated over it so much when he got out. 

Fuck, Cas, I’m so, so sorry.  I know it’s not my fault, but I hate what has happened to your people, not just you personally, and if there’s any way to set it right, Dean and I will do our damndest.  If you want to be a part of that, you have more than the right to claim it, but if not, that’s okay too. 

Whatever you go through in however long it takes you to deal with being crammed into one of these little primate suits, know that I will never think that makes you weak, and I’ll run any interference that needs to be run with Dean.  He’s an asshole sometimes - a lot of the times - but he doesn’t mean to be.  Trust me on this one, I’ve known him longer.  When Dean gives you shit, it’s kind of his way of saying I love you.  And he does.  We both do. 

You’re human now, but that doesn’t make you matter any less just because you don’t have “mojo”.  You’re our friend, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re my brother twice over, even if neither of us are too fond of the circumstances for one of those. 

Vgear Pa-aox Saisch

PS: All that aside, you break Dean’s heart one more time, I’ll fucking kill you the slow way.

thehuskybro: bbshipper: I saw this commercial twice earlier...



I saw this commercial twice earlier this week and thought the little girl was just beyond cute, and the dad's confused little call out to his wife beyond hilarious.

I did not for a SECOND think this was in any way groundbreaking or controversial - until it's all over the news today here in the U.S. that 'conservatives', a label which seems to translate into 'racist batshit crazy people' lately, feel that America is 'not ready' for a commercial with an interracial family. Just, WHAT?

Here's the thing, just please GO AWAY.

Stop pretending you represent the predominant sentiment of this country when you spew your backwards moronic bullshit.

Stop trying to take us back to the 1960s - no one but a few of your narrow minded comrades want to regress with you.

Stop assuming that you occupy a credible platform from which to speak on what 'should' happen in our culture/country. Again .. no one gives a shit what you think when you offer no legitimate justification for your position other than a hatred for brown people.

Just, stop. Brown people are not going anywhere. They are going to fall in love with people who look like you …and those people are going to love them back…..they will procreate and produce more children who look like that little girl ….and that generation of caramel colored people will make decisions about what happens to you in your nursing home.

This country is more than ready to see an interracial family in commercials. That interracial family 'IS' this country now so it only make sense that they see themselves on T.V. - which is why Cheerios used them to sell their product, you dumb shits.


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